The Reason Behind

Sometimes in a conversation with someone I dont like, I feel like I wanna punch him straight in the face or spill out drink on her dress. But I ended up never do it. Why? We simply think because that was non-sense, or bad for our reputation. 

Actually, I found it differently. When we stop doing or start doing something, it is because we do it for someone.

My sister loved bitting her nails. That bad habit caused her nails became so ugly. Everyone kept telling her to stop doing it, but she didnt listen to anyone. And someday, she stop bitting her nails, why? Because now she loves herself, she doesn't want to have uglier nails. 

Like many other child, I would find tons of reasons when mom ask me to go to grandma's home with her. Now, I do it happily, simply because I love mom and I dont wanna disappoint her. When I go to grandma's home, which is thing actually I dont like to do, I do it due to my love for mom.

A friend of mine didn't like to wear high heels, even hate to wear school uniform due to its skirt. She was a macho girl (haha) and basketball captain. Years passed by, one day I met her and saw her changes. Now she curls her hair, wears skirt, and makes herself up in almost every way! I talked to her and found she doesnt change much besides her new interest in outer look. She does change because she loves her boyfriend.

Those are some example of changes we do consciously or not. Changes can be bad or good. So, when you care about a person with good things in his/her mind, it will give you good reason to do good things. On the contrary, if your someone special is someone with filthy mind, all you do gonna turns into something bad.

Our human nature is to do sins, but deep down inside our heart God put moral and conscience there. It makes us feeling guilty doing something bad and knowing it is right when we do good things we don't like to do.

To be a better person we have to love a better person with better mind. Since no human is perfect, why still expecting to find one? No one will make you a better person in every single way just like we never inspire people to do well in every single way, things and habits, because we aren't perfect.

To be perfect, we have to love the Perfect One. We all heard this quotes often, "in everything you do, do it for God" but I will tell you, in every thing you shouldn't do, don't do it, for Him. 

Do you think that you love Him? When we really do love somebody, we will think about him/her in everything we do, we will try to make him/her happy by doing things he/she loves and stop doing things he/she hates. All we do is trying to be someone he/she wish can exist in his/her life. This rule works too in loving God. 

So, do you really love Him? Have you loved Him that much? You don't need to say the answer out loud. If you cant find the answer, ask Him.

"God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their qualities. He knew it already. It was I who didn't." - C.S. Lewis

Sent From Above

I am Christian, not because my religion, but due to my faith in Jesus Christ. Although most of my thoughts contain about God, I'm not a religious person in the eyes of society. I do not go to church every Sunday. I do not post verses in my tweets, or use godly words in my messenger status. I never use t-shirt contains quotes like 'Jesus Army' or 'Army of God', and many other things that can identify me as a Christian.

I was born and grown up in a Christian family, but in the end, it is not my family or ceremony habit that makes a Christian, but God put it in my heart so I choose consciously to be a Christian. His call is inevitable.
For me, being a Christian is about faith and heart. I don't need to post it in twitter, facebook and any other social media. Because I believe He knows I believe in and love Him even if I do not post it on my social media. What society thinks about me is not important, I don't even care if they think I am an atheist, because they are not The One who guarantees my life.

We all do stereotyping. Giving labels. In my society, the Christians usually do not get good labels. They post verses in twitter and facebook, talk about God here and there, always tell people about God, but still use rude words, do gossiping, cheat in test, envy people, and show off the religiosity they think they have.
I do not want to be that kind of person. I do not want to be a kind of No Action Talk Only person. What is the point of being a Christian without loving people? Dont you think it will be better if we let the actions talk? Just do good toward people and someday they will know the reason why we are doing these.
I do everything because of my love for Jesus, I don't want to disappoint Him.

Here I am trying to explain the simple things we use to forget in Christianity. Let me remind you that I am not an expert and never learn about theology. I am opened to any correction, just leave a comment or two and we can have some discussion about the topics I write.

I wish all the readers can understand what I mean despite my bad grammar, hehe. Thanks for reading :)

What Love Is

I've been wondering for days, maybe weeks... or years. What is marriage actually? I used to think, it is finding someone you ever imagine as a live person, then chose him/her as your partner. Yes, we like him/her because what we think he/she has. Maybe you think she loves reading, dancing and watching movies, yeah, maybe she is, but maybe she is not, maybe it is just your imagination. But, after all, you chose to love her, consciously or not.
If someone ask you "why you love him/her?" You will find yourself giving a list of what you like from her/him. Then... How about things you don't like from him/her? What if she don't like to cook, but you love a girl who can make dim sum for you? Usually, we tolerate it, or deceiving ourselves by thinking someday she will learn to make dim sum for us.
Just approve it, when you are gonna marry someone, your only hope is that she/he will not change the habit you like, but will change the habit you don't like. Like, you hope she will always love cooking, dancing and singing, but you wish she will stop forget washing dishes or singing Justin Bieber's songs. Doesn't it true?

There are so many couple out there wishing they are not marrying their partner now. Thinking, "why did I want to marry this crazy silly selfish bastard?" Because when you said 'I do', you just love the good side, and wish all the bad side will vanish someday.

Love is selfish. Now, I agree with it. I said I love him, but actually it just the feeling when he made me happy, but I hate him so much when he didn't meet my expectation. Did you? Or, do you?

When two people get married, they think they don't chose to love, love choses them. But, I found that love is a choice. Marriage is a decision to love someone forever even if he/she change into someone you think you never know, even if she/he change, even if her/his changes are bad or good. It is a decision not to give up on him/her without limit of time, and a promise to be with him/her with all her good and bad side, good and bad times. Marriage should be fulfilled with 'agape' and 'phileo' too, not only 'eros'.

So, to love is a choice, to marry is a decision. Then, logically if we read the previous paragraph, we will think that we can marry random person. Yes, actually we can.
But, some people are easier to be loved, they tend to be called 'loveable'. But to love some other people, we need extra works, extra heartache, extra toleration.
We, human race, have a natural instinct to pick the easier way. That's why we chose a person who is easy to be loved as our partner. Have you ever meet someone who is loved by so many guys or girls? Because they are loveable. You don't need to put so much effort to love her/him.

We all want to be loved, but too stubborn to acknowledge that we are not that loveable, and too arrogant to change our self. We think we hate our self, because we are not loveable, but the way we hate our self, is the way we love our self too. We hate our self for our arrogance, stubbornness, laziness, and everything else, because we know those are bad, and we want our self to change! But we are just too shame to admit that we have a bad personality and have to change. Then we will make excuses for our self to give an exception why we do that, so we don't need to change.
So, first of all, deal with yourself, don't be shame to acknowledge you bad attitudes, then deal with your pride, don't be arrogance and stubborn to change your bad attitudes. Stop making excuses to defend yourself.

Love needs requirements, and everyone has their own requirements to love someone. For an example; for me, it is easier to love someone who can understand my perception of life, has the same faith, strongly hold onto his principles, but realize when to change his bad attitudes. But for my sister it will be easier to love someone who can conquer her, loves japanese music and watching star wars too. See? Everyone has their own requirement, but some people have requirements that are easier to be fulfilled, and some other are just too hard to be fulfilled.
People with easier requirements are easier to love and to be loved. Meanwhile, people with harder requirements are harder to love and to be loved, usually society calls them 'picky'.

Don't forget about check-list system too! If we have 10 requirements, we will make 'minimum border'. Maybe 7 from 10 for me, but maybe 5 from 10 for her, maybe 9 from 10 for him. Everyone has their own minimum border.

Did you ever realize, that requirements and minimum border limit our choices to love someone? That's why we cant love or even like everyone. Because we need them to meet our expectation first so that we can love them. But, do all of them give a damn? The answer is no.

For some cases, people will decrease their requirements and minimum border. For my case, I know I don't need to decrease my requirements and minimum border, but I have to change to be more loveable. Stubborn is when your significance other give up on you but you still don't want to change to be more loveable, by changing your attitude or decreasing you minimum border.

So, marriage at the end, will be the love we found in our parents, love without requirements and limit or so called  'agape'.
Now, I conclude that marriage is a decision to love without requirements and limits.

Maybe, you guys look at your mom and think "how can dad want to marry someone like her?", or maybe you think your dad is sorry to marry her, or maybe your dad once told you not to marry someone like your mom. No, not because your dad doesn't love your mom anymore, but he knows how hard to love someone like her, a difficult person to be loved, and as a parent, he wishes you an easier life than him. That's why he told you to seek someone easier to be loved.

Don't misunderstand that love without requirements and limits don't even wanna change him/her. When you love someone, you constantly wish the best for him/her. It is right when you try to tell her/him to change his/her bad habit or attitude. It is due to your hope that she/he can be a better person. Telling someone his/her bad habit so that they can realize it then change it, is a way of loving.

But at the end, the only thing that constant in life is changes. She is gonna change someday, you too gonna change somehow. The only thing that kept your love constant for her/him is 'to love without requirement'.

I'm still learning it too. I learn to be more loveable, so first of all, me, my self, and I can love myself better. I learn to love without requirements, maybe not for boyfriend for now (you know, if we have choices, we have to chose the easier person to be loved *wink!* ), but to love mom, dad, my sisters, my big family, and my friends without requirements.

Start from today, this minute, this second. Maybe its too late to save a relationship, but never too late to learn this kind of love for a new one.

Sorry for my bad grammar and boring words. It is due to my lack of vocabulary. I promise myself to learn more ;)

Anyway, thanks for reading!