I want to make a confession today: I am really lazy, I don't read bible
daily, and I never finish my bible plan reading in my bible application,
not even one. If there something I can boast, it is only the fact I
have finished bible once, though I don't remember and understand a
thing, which only bring me shame.
I tried, seriously. I tried a
thousand times to read bible everyday. But, most of my trials didn't
succeed for whatever reasons. Actually, I know I'm just lazy. I tried my
best to understand what those verses mean, sometimes I desperately
google it, nevertheless it was useless.
Despaired about the
bible, Christian books caught my eyes. They are easier to read and convey God's message too, all the better explaining about it than google do. I
started to read C.S. Lewis, Judah Smith, Max Lucado books and others. Each book has specific theme which make it easier for me to
understand better about specific issue. However, the fact that I spent
those books more often that I read bible is terrifying me.
Maybe
it is not a sin for spending much more time reading Christian books
than reading bible, yet I know it is not right. It feels similar to us
liking to read opinion article without really understand the event, or
wanting to hear about a friend we are too lazy to contact from another
friend. Perhaps, I should read bible in the first hand. Reading Christian books is not wrong, but they are not our daily bread. They suppose to be snack, while bible is the main course.
Though I
still don't understand the bible, I promise myself to never stop trying
to read it daily. I wanna know Him better through His words, believe
someday He will reveal it in the right time, and keep praying that He
will always lead me in this bible reading activity.
So, I pray that we all can keep reading bible daily and understand it in His time. Amen!
Things You Think People Never Think
Your thoughts are worth sharing!
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Not a Mistake
Been long since the last time I wrote anything about love, I've been
avoiding it for quite sometime. But today, I have something to share.
What is the worst part of a relationship?
For me, it's always the ending.
No matter how hard you try to make a clear nice breakup, still there is no easy breakup. No matter how hard you pretend to be OK, you lose yourself control at some point. No matter how hard you try to remain friends, it will not be the same, at least for a while.
And the worst thing about the ending isn't the break up, it's when you lose him.
When you love somebody and make that person special, you give him some space in your life, often you give him a big space. So, when he walks away from your daily life, there will be a big hole left. That is the most hurtful moment, but maybe letting go is a part of loving.
As I once write, there is no unbutton love. Once you love somebody, you love him for a life time, but maybe the intensity can change. If you don't love him anymore, maybe actually you never really did.
At times I should face my most hurtful moment, I cried. Still I believe, that what had happened isn't a mistake.
This was written on October 2014, when I was facing a heart break. I kept it for a long time, not wanting to post it on emotional state because I was afraid of not being objective to evaluate it as an encouraging post. This is actually what I kept telling myself on my attempt to move on, that everything was not a mistake and I learned something from it. I hope you can also believe that your heart breaks, your exes, your past relationships are not mistakes, but the things God let to happen in your life in order to teach you something valuable.
What is the worst part of a relationship?
For me, it's always the ending.
No matter how hard you try to make a clear nice breakup, still there is no easy breakup. No matter how hard you pretend to be OK, you lose yourself control at some point. No matter how hard you try to remain friends, it will not be the same, at least for a while.
And the worst thing about the ending isn't the break up, it's when you lose him.
When you love somebody and make that person special, you give him some space in your life, often you give him a big space. So, when he walks away from your daily life, there will be a big hole left. That is the most hurtful moment, but maybe letting go is a part of loving.
As I once write, there is no unbutton love. Once you love somebody, you love him for a life time, but maybe the intensity can change. If you don't love him anymore, maybe actually you never really did.
At times I should face my most hurtful moment, I cried. Still I believe, that what had happened isn't a mistake.
This was written on October 2014, when I was facing a heart break. I kept it for a long time, not wanting to post it on emotional state because I was afraid of not being objective to evaluate it as an encouraging post. This is actually what I kept telling myself on my attempt to move on, that everything was not a mistake and I learned something from it. I hope you can also believe that your heart breaks, your exes, your past relationships are not mistakes, but the things God let to happen in your life in order to teach you something valuable.
Dora
Her nickname is Dora, from Theodora. She's kinda look alike Dora the
explorer, but much smarter, prettier, wiser and lovelier. She has a mini
body with a big heart and wide mind. She is a friend of mine.
Everybody has ego they want to feed, so did I. There were times when I was in a fight and i felt like being right was the only thing I wanted. I was the right side and I didn't I wanna say sorry. She/he should be the one to apologize, and if I was kind enough I will forgive her/him. I bet you once (or twice or even more) felt the same way! That's our big ego which will grow bigger and bigger if we keep feeding them. Do you know how troublesome big ego is? Troublesome for other, really troublesome for whom it belongs.
One day I was in a fight with my mom, she told me the truth that I need to hear, but I refused to hear it. She told that I was never nice, I got angry easily and others. They were not nice words to be heard, but a truth needed to be told. I hated to believe in those words, but I hated it because it was true. Deep inside my heart I knew that was true, but still I was a coward. I told my friend that story and she said that my mom was wrong, I knew she tried to comfort me, but I didn't feel that it was right for me to be comforted because I actually also agreed with what my mom said about me. That way I realised that I was a coward and needed someone to encourage me to swallow my pride, bear with the truth and say sorry. Then I told God in my prayer, "God, please give me a friend who will make me better in your way, the one who dare to say the truth no matter it is nice to my ear or not as long as it is needed to be told, the one who will strengthen me with Your words when I'm in trouble, the one who will lead me back to You when I'm lost. The one who love You so much so that she can be a good friend." God granted my prayer, He sent me some people who does so. One of them is Dora.
Now, every time I was angry over something or in a fight with someone, I call her first, because I know she will tell the truth and remind me the right thing to do. Most of the times, the right things to do were the least things I want to do. It was hard to swallow my pride and stop feeding my ego, but it did bring a better time.
We all do need a friend like Dora, someone who will make us better in His way, the one who dare to say the truth no matter it is nice to our ear or not as long as it is needed to be told, the one who will strengthen us with His words when we're in trouble, the one who will lead us back to Him when we're lost. The one who love Him so much so that she can be a good friend because His love enables her to do so.
Pray to Him for a friend like that, the one who will help us climb the mountain, not dragging us down.
Tonight I will pray to God and ask Him to send you a friend like my Dora, I hope God will grant my wish and your Dora will arrive soon in your life :)
Dear Dora, if you ever read this post, I want to tell you that I am really glad for your presence in my life. Stay humble and lovely, I thank God for sending you.
Everybody has ego they want to feed, so did I. There were times when I was in a fight and i felt like being right was the only thing I wanted. I was the right side and I didn't I wanna say sorry. She/he should be the one to apologize, and if I was kind enough I will forgive her/him. I bet you once (or twice or even more) felt the same way! That's our big ego which will grow bigger and bigger if we keep feeding them. Do you know how troublesome big ego is? Troublesome for other, really troublesome for whom it belongs.
One day I was in a fight with my mom, she told me the truth that I need to hear, but I refused to hear it. She told that I was never nice, I got angry easily and others. They were not nice words to be heard, but a truth needed to be told. I hated to believe in those words, but I hated it because it was true. Deep inside my heart I knew that was true, but still I was a coward. I told my friend that story and she said that my mom was wrong, I knew she tried to comfort me, but I didn't feel that it was right for me to be comforted because I actually also agreed with what my mom said about me. That way I realised that I was a coward and needed someone to encourage me to swallow my pride, bear with the truth and say sorry. Then I told God in my prayer, "God, please give me a friend who will make me better in your way, the one who dare to say the truth no matter it is nice to my ear or not as long as it is needed to be told, the one who will strengthen me with Your words when I'm in trouble, the one who will lead me back to You when I'm lost. The one who love You so much so that she can be a good friend." God granted my prayer, He sent me some people who does so. One of them is Dora.
Now, every time I was angry over something or in a fight with someone, I call her first, because I know she will tell the truth and remind me the right thing to do. Most of the times, the right things to do were the least things I want to do. It was hard to swallow my pride and stop feeding my ego, but it did bring a better time.
We all do need a friend like Dora, someone who will make us better in His way, the one who dare to say the truth no matter it is nice to our ear or not as long as it is needed to be told, the one who will strengthen us with His words when we're in trouble, the one who will lead us back to Him when we're lost. The one who love Him so much so that she can be a good friend because His love enables her to do so.
Pray to Him for a friend like that, the one who will help us climb the mountain, not dragging us down.
Tonight I will pray to God and ask Him to send you a friend like my Dora, I hope God will grant my wish and your Dora will arrive soon in your life :)
Dear Dora, if you ever read this post, I want to tell you that I am really glad for your presence in my life. Stay humble and lovely, I thank God for sending you.
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