True love does sound good. I always secretly wish to find my true love. I
imagined my true love is a gentleman with great love and great taste,
ready to love beyond my imperfection at anytime, whatever my condition
is. That was how I imagined true love until this morning.
I am
not good at relationship, in fact I never stay in a relationship longer
than a year. When I find something wrong in a relationship, usually I
become doubtful, then if he cant convince me that everything will be
alright I will leave soon. Maybe it's because I don't want to take the
risk of spending the rest of my life with a wrong person. In attempt to
know how deep is his love, I usually act super annoying and cranky for
days to see if he will keep on loving me. I swear I didn't do this
intentionally to test them, I did it without ever knowing why but just
because I want to and I need to. Some of the guys leave me, some other
stay but could not convince me. By all ways, I always leave.
Recently,
I promised myself to take some long me-time. I kinda feel bad for never
succeed a relationship, I started thinking that the mistakes were on me
and not the guys. I realized that I wish too much from them to love me
unconditionally. If it is too much to ask for an unconditional love,
maybe I will never meet my true love. All I wish for is an unconditional
love, because I know that I am not perfect. I was afraid someday my
lover will start counting my flaws then he will decide to leave.
This
morning, I was thinking that maybe unconditional love is too much to
ask for and no man is capable of it. But, how come? My heart is crying
for it. God was so cruel if He put a desire in my heart that impossible
to be satisfied. Then He told me, "the one you have been looking for is
Me!" As soon as possible He made it crystal clear.
All these year, I
was crying for unconditional love, I was crying for Him. Only God can
give me unconditional love, not matter how much I sinned, how annoying
and cranky I can be, He still chooses to love me unconditionally. That
moment, I know my quest was over. I have met my true love, The One who will
and has loved me unconditionally.
Thank you God, for loving me unconditionally.
Do you know? He loves you unconditionally, too!
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