One day, I woke up from my nap. This time I'm not dreaming about anything, but soon after waking up I start thinking "what should I do with my life?". Then I realized two important things. First, that I concern about this thing more than I realized, it haunted me under my consciousness. Second, soon after the first question popped up in my head, the answer came, I realized I had made a commitment. Maybe I should say it is a BIG commitment.
A year ago, when I signed my university form, I had made a commitment to be a doctor, or at least to be a doctor in progress. I didn't make any pact about being a doctor with the university, nor my parents, but to God and myself. Once I'm in, I should do my best. No, I have to do my best.
I realized that in 3 years I will have long holiday no more and my life will full of about medicine thingy everyday, anywhere, anytime. Actually, this is a choice. You still can quit from this medicine world, you can quit now, you can quit tomorrow, you can quit anytime. Taking medicine education doesn't mean you will work in a medicine world, having a doctor degree doesn't mean you will work as a doctor. It's all up to you. I saw some of my friends taking medicine education, but still wondering about what should they do in life. They tried to convince them self that taking medicine education is a right choice, in fact they're not really in. Maybe out of 100, maybe just 10 of us that really know the reason why they want to be a doctor from the beginning, the ninety others are still wondering, convincing and reasoning.
It takes courage to admit that we're still questioning if we really want to be a doctor, and it takes time to decide whether we want to stay or leave. But, above all we need support and approval from our beloved people.
I chose to stay, to involve, to explore medicine world, and to do my best in it. I really hope that everybody who still stand in something in between will soon get the best decision. Take your time and encourage your self, the choices is yours, the answers are only can be found in you, not your parents, not your significance other, not your friends. Choices are unlimited, I guarantee you, but every choices has its consequences. Choices are unlimited, our capability of the consequences is. Choose wisely and have a good day, readers!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
What Today's Women Expect
Recently I talked a little bit a lot with a boy. At
first, I think he just wanted to be friends, but looked like he mistook my
being-nice action as a good sign to start flirting.
It was quite boring and tiring to talk to him. But, I thank him for opening my eyes to see that in this modern emancipation life, still there is a conservative (I use conservative, because maybe closed minded is too rude) man who wants to marry a woman who will just cook for him and dust his furniture at home and maybe dance and sing and rub his back when he comes home.
It was much less like this. He said, he doesn't like an ambitious woman who loves to pursue career in her life and for example he mention our senior's name whom I totally adore. I said, that kind of woman is cool and I am definitely one of that kind. He said that our senior is definitely going to be an old single lady because she is too picky and ambitious. I said, she is definitely outrageous and cool because she is keep on pursuing her dreams and being single doesn't keep her for being fabulous. He said, she should be aware of her single status because she is in her midst twenty. I said, no she shouldn't because she is pretty, has a good attitude and style, dress well, comes from good family back ground, smart and has a great prospect of being a good pediatrician, the only thing she shouldn't do is lowering her standard (especially for a guy like you, even though I didn't say this). He said, he wants to be the only reason of his significant other's happiness. I said, I had learned that we better not draping our happiness on other people's shoulder. He said, in a relationship couple should depend on each other and he wants to have a significant other who will totally depend on him. I said, I learned that in a healthy relationship, couple should trust and help each other but not totally depend on each other, I learned that a healthy relationship is two happy persons commit to share their happiness and sorrow, not to make each other happy, if we could not make our self happy then we will not make any other people happy. He said, this is a tough conversation, and we will hard to finally have one conclusion. I said, no, we don't need any conclusion because we were just sharing opinion, we can still go on in life with our own opinion, there's no need to decide which opinion is better, because it were all relative and subjective.
I am quite surprised to realize that most of men and boys around me still adopt the concept of having a girl friend or wife who will totally adore and depend on them, and in extreme case just having a life because of their presence. For my sisters, I and maybe some women out there who have an intention to go for further education and want to have career life, we are not avoiding or disliking marriage, we're just expecting a men who will accept us as his equal partner in life. An equal partner is someone to talk to, to discuss matters, to share opinions, to help each other through life. An equal partner means we want men to think and act like our opinion is matter, worth listened, worth considered and worth for trial.
In fact, most of men still adopt last century concept of having a girl friend or wife. They think their wife just need to listen to their stories without any right to give opinions, we were only given right to agree and nod, cook them breakfast lunch and supper, raise the kid, and (sorry to say) serve them in bed. They think, their only obligation is supporting family's economy which (in their mind) woman cant do and know nothing about. Maybe you don't believe it, but some women still have this same concept in their mind. Thankfully, I am absolutely not one of them.
Women have the right to pursue their dreams, dreams can be working as a doctor, or maybe work as reporter for BBC or CNN, or maybe be a mother with four kids. Women have the right to be listened. Women have the right to be appreciated for what they have done. Raising kids is not only women's obligation in marriage, it is two party's obligation. Raising kids is not about giving them money, toys, gadgets, and stuffs or giving them the best education, it is about nurturing and loving them, accompanying them during life, and helping them to grow.
For every smart beautiful girls who lives around the world, be smart enough to chose your partner. Because we're worth it. Maybe you're single at the moment, just don't ever lower your standard, the right man will be able to appreciate your intelligence, beauty and skills.
Be smart people, be people smart. Happy weekend!
It was quite boring and tiring to talk to him. But, I thank him for opening my eyes to see that in this modern emancipation life, still there is a conservative (I use conservative, because maybe closed minded is too rude) man who wants to marry a woman who will just cook for him and dust his furniture at home and maybe dance and sing and rub his back when he comes home.
It was much less like this. He said, he doesn't like an ambitious woman who loves to pursue career in her life and for example he mention our senior's name whom I totally adore. I said, that kind of woman is cool and I am definitely one of that kind. He said that our senior is definitely going to be an old single lady because she is too picky and ambitious. I said, she is definitely outrageous and cool because she is keep on pursuing her dreams and being single doesn't keep her for being fabulous. He said, she should be aware of her single status because she is in her midst twenty. I said, no she shouldn't because she is pretty, has a good attitude and style, dress well, comes from good family back ground, smart and has a great prospect of being a good pediatrician, the only thing she shouldn't do is lowering her standard (especially for a guy like you, even though I didn't say this). He said, he wants to be the only reason of his significant other's happiness. I said, I had learned that we better not draping our happiness on other people's shoulder. He said, in a relationship couple should depend on each other and he wants to have a significant other who will totally depend on him. I said, I learned that in a healthy relationship, couple should trust and help each other but not totally depend on each other, I learned that a healthy relationship is two happy persons commit to share their happiness and sorrow, not to make each other happy, if we could not make our self happy then we will not make any other people happy. He said, this is a tough conversation, and we will hard to finally have one conclusion. I said, no, we don't need any conclusion because we were just sharing opinion, we can still go on in life with our own opinion, there's no need to decide which opinion is better, because it were all relative and subjective.
I am quite surprised to realize that most of men and boys around me still adopt the concept of having a girl friend or wife who will totally adore and depend on them, and in extreme case just having a life because of their presence. For my sisters, I and maybe some women out there who have an intention to go for further education and want to have career life, we are not avoiding or disliking marriage, we're just expecting a men who will accept us as his equal partner in life. An equal partner is someone to talk to, to discuss matters, to share opinions, to help each other through life. An equal partner means we want men to think and act like our opinion is matter, worth listened, worth considered and worth for trial.
In fact, most of men still adopt last century concept of having a girl friend or wife. They think their wife just need to listen to their stories without any right to give opinions, we were only given right to agree and nod, cook them breakfast lunch and supper, raise the kid, and (sorry to say) serve them in bed. They think, their only obligation is supporting family's economy which (in their mind) woman cant do and know nothing about. Maybe you don't believe it, but some women still have this same concept in their mind. Thankfully, I am absolutely not one of them.
Women have the right to pursue their dreams, dreams can be working as a doctor, or maybe work as reporter for BBC or CNN, or maybe be a mother with four kids. Women have the right to be listened. Women have the right to be appreciated for what they have done. Raising kids is not only women's obligation in marriage, it is two party's obligation. Raising kids is not about giving them money, toys, gadgets, and stuffs or giving them the best education, it is about nurturing and loving them, accompanying them during life, and helping them to grow.
For every smart beautiful girls who lives around the world, be smart enough to chose your partner. Because we're worth it. Maybe you're single at the moment, just don't ever lower your standard, the right man will be able to appreciate your intelligence, beauty and skills.
Be smart people, be people smart. Happy weekend!
Life, Its Purpose, and Its Meaning
So, lets get straight to the point: what is the meaning of life? What is the purpose of living a life as a human?
Its been two weeks or maybe more since I got a dream every time I sleep. Usually, I don't dream that often. Every day the dreams were vague and bad, so I woke up tired and weary. I don't know why this is happening to me. Is this a part of heart break and moving on process? Or, is this just because I have too much spare time and my mind wandering too much? Or, is this a normal question that came to every person that live in this world? I just woke up from my nap this afternoon after having a bad dream and realise those all comes from my mind that afraid of being alone and having no purpose.
Everything is meaningless, it is said in Ecclesiastes many times. Life is full of seasons that come and go. Sometimes bad things happen, another time great things come. But after all, life will come to an end. But every ending is a new beginning. Some people believe there will be life after life, some other say there is no life after life and we will have no more existence. If there will be no life after life, it just prove that life is meaningless, everything is meaningless. But for people who believe there will be life after life, what is the purpose of living? Does not immortality just another form of and ending without new entrance? Because it will stuck there.
Some said life is to find it's meaning, some said it's just to be done, to do things and keep on living, the other said life is to fulfil their ambition, and the rest said life is to give life itself meaning.
I believe there's life after life as the bible said so. But, what kind of life it will be, I haven't understood yet. I had no idea why God created human, why He created us, why He created me. What do He want me to do so He created me into someone like this? No, I haven't found the answer yet, but I keep on praying and asking God as The bible said "ask and you'll be given" so many times.
Matthew 6:33
"But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
I have been denying my questions about life and its purpose because I was afraid that I gonna lose my mind and get lost, afraid that I will lose my grip in christianity. But now I know, I have a Lord and He is my shepherd, He is good shepherd who wont let me get lost and wont left me alone, who will seek for me when I got lost. And as I believe that He is the one created me with a purpose, I should ask Him what it is.
Its been two weeks or maybe more since I got a dream every time I sleep. Usually, I don't dream that often. Every day the dreams were vague and bad, so I woke up tired and weary. I don't know why this is happening to me. Is this a part of heart break and moving on process? Or, is this just because I have too much spare time and my mind wandering too much? Or, is this a normal question that came to every person that live in this world? I just woke up from my nap this afternoon after having a bad dream and realise those all comes from my mind that afraid of being alone and having no purpose.
Everything is meaningless, it is said in Ecclesiastes many times. Life is full of seasons that come and go. Sometimes bad things happen, another time great things come. But after all, life will come to an end. But every ending is a new beginning. Some people believe there will be life after life, some other say there is no life after life and we will have no more existence. If there will be no life after life, it just prove that life is meaningless, everything is meaningless. But for people who believe there will be life after life, what is the purpose of living? Does not immortality just another form of and ending without new entrance? Because it will stuck there.
Some said life is to find it's meaning, some said it's just to be done, to do things and keep on living, the other said life is to fulfil their ambition, and the rest said life is to give life itself meaning.
I believe there's life after life as the bible said so. But, what kind of life it will be, I haven't understood yet. I had no idea why God created human, why He created us, why He created me. What do He want me to do so He created me into someone like this? No, I haven't found the answer yet, but I keep on praying and asking God as The bible said "ask and you'll be given" so many times.
Matthew 6:33
"But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
I have been denying my questions about life and its purpose because I was afraid that I gonna lose my mind and get lost, afraid that I will lose my grip in christianity. But now I know, I have a Lord and He is my shepherd, He is good shepherd who wont let me get lost and wont left me alone, who will seek for me when I got lost. And as I believe that He is the one created me with a purpose, I should ask Him what it is.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Atheism versus Christianity and Something About Superior Existence
A couple days ago I read about atheism versus christianity in BBC news. The news says that Christian twitter user are happier than the atheist users. Actually, the news was a little bit non-sense for me. Tweets cannot be a measurement for happiness. We can tweet beautiful words while crying or angry. Remember that human love to play with words.
With my curiosity, I opened one of well-known atheist twitter users. There, I found so many tweets that tried to offend people who chose to embrace one of beliefs world offers. But, the only thing I feel behind her words are disappointment and denial. It looked like she was disappointed about world's condition then accused it as God's injustice. So, she denied His existence. Because deep inside she believe that if God's was exist, world would be a good place. If God's exist, He must be an existence that full of love, not this cruel to let all these happened.
I think, the one who ignore someone consciously is the one who deep inside feel that one's existence the most. So she had to take effort to deny and ignore Him.
Let me try to explain this in an analogy. If you watch a musical performance, you can notice the wrong chords played or false lyrics sang if you listen to it carefully. If you're hearing and not listening, you wont notice that the singer made some mistakes.
But, as I have said above "tweets cannot be a measurement." This paragraph is only my speculation.
This finding triggered me to learn more about atheism, Christianity, and above all took me back to the basic; about superior existence who has power upon this world. Is He really exist? If He does Exist, who is He? I believe everyone once had these two question pop up in their heads, but only some are brave enough to ask it.
Those two question will make me post some posts about Christianity, atheism and something about superior existence next time. I'm a conservative blogger, I think two post a day are too much (hahaha). Besides, I want the reader to read patiently and carefully. Please, read it with curiosity, not with intention to judge which one is right and chose that one then blame the others. Be like a little kid who hears with intention to understand, not to reply or give judgement. So, happy reading! :)
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