Hey, Mr. Right

Have you ever wonder about how and when will you know that someone is the right one for you? I do question it all the time.

How can we know that he/she is the right one? And, when will we know? I'm pretty sure that those question at least for once crossed your mind.
We used to think, that if he/she say or do something we expect without telling them, he/she must be the right one. No, if they're right, they're just lucky-guesser. Or maybe, if they bring changes to our life, it must be them. Even if he/she can give everything we want, material or feelings, it may not be them.
This human race is poisoned with the theory telling us "We will know when he/she proposes us." Oops, remember how many couple choose to divorce every year? Once upon a time, they were falling in love with each other too.

I think the best answer I can get is we will never know. Even when we're married, we will not stop questioning if it is right to marry him/her. It is an unanswerable question.Why? Because knowing he/she is the right one is not a statement you need to go to the next level of your relationship, it is the conclusion you can get after going through everything, literally everything, with him/her. Since conclusion always comes later, deciding to spend your life and grow old with someone is like a gamble. The difference is you cannot quit easily, you've been trapped in wedding vow.
We will only know we have lived our life right or not, marry the right person or not, have a happy enjoyable life or not the second when we close our life for the last time. Because they are all conclusions, not decisions.

That's only my crazy wild speculation, you can have another concept in your head. Follow what your heart and head, both of them. Because finally I found that true love is when your head and heart say and agree for the same thing, true love is when you love someone for both sentimental and rational reasons.

I hope this post helps you. Thanks for reading and sorry for my bad english :p
Have a nice day, readers!

The Best Revenge Is Love

Hate and enemy is packaged into one thing. You have an enemy and you hate him, if you dont hate her then she would be an enemy. I know there are annoying, mean, shifty, savage, unlovable people in our life, but they are there and not going to go away from our life so soon. That’s the fact.

In Matthew 5:44, God ordered us to love our enemy and pray for them who have been being so mean to us. I’m not going to tell you an explanation about how good it will be to have such a golden heart, or any explanation that seems so saintly. 

Hating each other is like a war, and war gets your adrenalin up because you have a rival who will against you. The only ambition in a war is to defeat the enemy. But, what if the enemy is not responding? You will be the silly person who is busy sending war signal into someone who is doing everything else except responding to you. I believe that someday that silly person will be shame to see how silly she was.

Well, I thought the best revenge is to ignore. But, eventually I found that ignorance is the opposite of love, but the best revenge for hatred is to love more. Maybe when you are younger, there was one annoying aunty who loves to kiss you without knowing how much you hate her. What else can be more annoying than a kiss from your one-side enemy? So that I choose to love my former enemy, treat them well, and wish the best for them. If I love them, someday they will be shame for what they have done. Moreover, hatred is not good to be burden. Just let it go. Bringing it everywhere is like bringing foul potatoes. They are gonna spread disgusting smell. 

Now, lesson learnt. I choose to love my enemy and pray for the as God said, for I wanna see them change into something better. I hope now you understand why you better love your enemies. Thanks for reading and sorry for my bad english. :)

Christians Are Cheaters, Too

Everyone in this world lives with disappointments, heartaches, insecurities, fears, and many negative uncontrolled feelings. Some people try to face it, some seek for help, and some others runaway into things. Most of people who can face it finally come back with a bitter heart for knowing the world is never a good place for living. Some people seek for help, try to rely on other people and only get more disappointments at the end. The others runaway into things, drugs, alcohol, job, games, books, hobbies, anything that can take them off from real life, make them forget their pains.

Christians are not exceptionable in this case. Those negative feelings are inevitable too for us. Do you think that Christians are a group of the strongest, wisest, smartest, most diligent, best people so we can face those feelings without getting hurt? NO. Christians are a group of the smallest, laziest, dumbest, weakest, coward, selfish people. We are the worst people that you can ever imagine. That's why we seek for a savior, for we know that we, the worst people, cannot face this world alone. Perhaps, we more than once tried to rely on a person or thing, but we only got more disappointments. Maybe, we more than once run into life-pain-killers, but we became so addictive that it could danger us.

Life is like a Role Playing Game. Let me make it into a parable. Life is a game named "The Hardest Game Ever". We are the players. Everyone is forced to play and finish it. Some people try to play with the rules, try their best to figure out every problem that come. Some people seek for cheats, but every cheat costs, and usually the cost is too high. The others paused their game by runaway into other things for the game is to difficult for them. But sadly, no one could finish the game well. No one got happy ending. Someday, The Game Maker heard that the game is too hard and no one can finish it well. So, The Game Maker decided to send someone He has trained named Jesus Christ. Jesus is sent to finish the game and He made it. After finished the game, Jesus is sent among the players to teach them how to play and finish the game well. Jesus is the only legal, free, and live cheat sent by The Game Maker. He tries to tell everyone the walk through, gives us weapon and guardians, but not everyone believes in Him. There are people that prefer to believe in themself, play the game by following their instinct and feeling only, try to figure out how to finish it well. Some people are seeking for cheats, but not everyone believe in Jesus' walk thourgh, so they seek for other cheats, they pay for the cheats. Christian are a group of cheaters, we cheated on the game, but we choose Jesus as the cheat. Because Christians are the poorest so we seek the free one, we are the dumbest and the laziest so we don't think much to believe in Him, we are coward and selfish so we prefer the one that can guarantee that we will finish the game well.

I consider people who prefer to try to figure the game out by themself as people who believe in logic thinking such as atheists and agnostics, and other cheats as other beliefs.
Why do I choose to use Jesus' cheats for this life? Because it is free, legal, guaranteed from The Life Giver. For people who choose other beliefs, or rely on their logic and skills, I appreciate their choices, but I just cant be one of them. Life is hard, and I'm not a hard-worker so I choose the easiest way, Jesus. Following Jesus is the easiest way to get joy and eternity life. Easiest but not easy. But still the easiest. I'm a coward, selfish, and frightened to any risk, so I follow Jesus, for His path is risk less. There will be risk, but He guarantees to cover it all.

God sent Jesus as savior for everyone, but it is a choice to believe in Him. I choose to believe in Him for He is the one who can guarantee my life safety, which is thing I do not find in other beliefs. So, are you in? I don't expect anybody who read will instantly believe in Him. To believe in Him takes time and processes. But, I hope someday you finally will believe in Him, too.

And, I hope you can understand what I post today despite my bad english, God bless the readers! :D

The Way We Love

There's a brief story I wanna tell you first.
Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Janette. She had a boyfriend named Calvin. One day, Janette's loveliest dog, Goldy died. She cried and then called her boyfriend. Soon, Calvin came to Janette's home. He told her to stop crying and promised to give her a new lovelier dog than Goldy. Janette became angry, she said "nothing can replace Goldy! All I want is Goldy!" She was disappointed with his words, and didn't understand why he could say such a thing. In the other hand, Calvin was disappointed too, he tried his best to make her happy, but she got angry instead. 
Last valentine, Calvin gave her chocolate and teddy bear. Somehow, Janette was disappointed because she expected red roses. She was on diet and Calvin knew it, why he gave her a chocolate? On the contrary, Calvin thought that roses never means anything to him. He never understands why girls love flower which can die in three days.
On Calvin birthday, Janette bought her a new pair of oxford shoes as a gift. When he opened it, he was disappointed. He was expecting for something about soccer. Or, new video games would be nice. 
Lately, these things happened more frequently. Calvin and Janette start to think that they dont understand each other. Finally, they decided to break up.

Do you think it is a sad familiar story, dont you? It happens to many couples. If someone ask about who's wrong here, girls and boys will blame each other. The truth is, no one is wrong, neither Janette nor Calvin is wrong. They just love each other in different way.

The people I love, they always make me wonder if they love me too. Where does this feeling come from? Actually I found that it is simply because we treat the people we love by the way we want to be treated. But, sadly everyone is thinking the same thing. We used to think that if somebody loves us, they will treat us in a way we express love too, and the fact is everyone have different ideas of expressing love. Just like Calvin and Jannete. Calvin said he gonna buy her a new lovelier dog, because if his dog die, he will love to have a new one, so he think if he does the same for Janette, Janette will know that he loves her. But, Janette think it woul be better if Calvin gives her a hug, comforts her, and listen carefully to her story that time, and after that she will stop crying. Their idea of expressing love are totally different, that's the problem. It is a common misunderstanding, happened to many couples simply because they dont understand that they have different ways of expressing love.

I think, we should love our beloved by the way they want to be loved, just to ensure they know that they are loved. The next question is, how will we know the way they will love to be treated? For our family, we can watch carefully how they treat the people they love then we can conclude how they express their love. But, how about that one former stranger that become so important in your life? That's the BIG problem, we always treat them as a mind-reader and so do they. We always wish for their understanding without saying a word. That's almost impossible, even our significance other will not always have the same idea with us.
I've been there too. I was too proud to tell my ex-significance other the way I love to be treated because I wished he will know it without me telling him. My only idea to solve this problem is to tell and to ask. Tell him/her the way you love to be treated, and ask them how him/her loved to be treated. If he/she doesn't want to tell you and tell you to figure out by yourself, it will be good as long as she/he gives you clues, but if she/he need you figure out of nowhere that will be a beginning for disaster. Well, at least, you have done you part; to tell and to ask.

Today I learn to treat people the way they want to be treated, the way they think love is expressed, just to ensure they know they are loved by me. Will you love to learn that, too? Because I hope that will bring a brighter smile in the faces of our beloved. Don't hesitate to ask them if you cant figure it out, we better ask than being mislead into miscommunication by our thoughts.

That's all I can share today. Sorry for my bad grammar and vocabularies. Everything is too mixed up in my head tonight, just hoping I didn't make any non-sense sentence here. Thanks for reading anyway!
Don't forget to hug our beloved, because look like hug is never a wrong way to express love :)

Because (My) Sisters are Gift

First of all, I'm not posting this after having fun or sharing hugs with my sisters. No.

I was born from a couple that blessed with four daughters, I'm their last. The youngest one. My sisters are considered much older than me. The oldest is 10 years older, the second is 6 years older, and the third is 4 years older than me.

When I was little, my home was full of their laughter and I loved it so. I had no private place because we were sharing bed room. But we're sharing life at the same time. As time went by, my older sister had to move to another city for her further study, years later my two other sister did too. And finally when I was in the last year of Junior High School they had to left me alone at home. Feeling lonely? Of course yeah. I lost the person whom I used to share daily stories, lunch, supper, books, bedroom, clothes, shoes, hugs, everything.
One of the worst feeling I ever felt was having my sister taken by her husband forever. She is still mine, but not fully-mine, just sometimes-mine. Now she has another face to call home, another house to come after work. I'm watching that soon everyone is going to pursue career, find a life partner, move out from home, and finally have their own life. Sad to see this is happening, but this is life. Sometimes life drift some people apart from our life.
My sister and I, we are not always getting along well. We fight sometimes, fight the changes that come. Although at the end, we will understand and accept the changes. They aren't always lovable, but I love them so much, the bad and the good. They aren't always nice, but I love having them around. They aren't always have time for me, but I know I can call them whenever I need them. They are busy now, but I know they are trying to make time for me. They don't always show it, but I know they care about me. They don't always hug me, but I know they love me.
I was not sharing the happiness of falling in love with them, even they got forgotten by me. But when it comes about heart break, they are there to wipe my tears, to force me eating, to make laugh, to convince everything is gonna be alright.

From left: the second, me, the first, the third. Because having them is a blessing!

We fight and we love, we are fighting because we are loving each other. And if they ever gonna read this (and not laugh due to the grammar), let me just say I love you sist.

The Reason Behind

Sometimes in a conversation with someone I dont like, I feel like I wanna punch him straight in the face or spill out drink on her dress. But I ended up never do it. Why? We simply think because that was non-sense, or bad for our reputation. 

Actually, I found it differently. When we stop doing or start doing something, it is because we do it for someone.

My sister loved bitting her nails. That bad habit caused her nails became so ugly. Everyone kept telling her to stop doing it, but she didnt listen to anyone. And someday, she stop bitting her nails, why? Because now she loves herself, she doesn't want to have uglier nails. 

Like many other child, I would find tons of reasons when mom ask me to go to grandma's home with her. Now, I do it happily, simply because I love mom and I dont wanna disappoint her. When I go to grandma's home, which is thing actually I dont like to do, I do it due to my love for mom.

A friend of mine didn't like to wear high heels, even hate to wear school uniform due to its skirt. She was a macho girl (haha) and basketball captain. Years passed by, one day I met her and saw her changes. Now she curls her hair, wears skirt, and makes herself up in almost every way! I talked to her and found she doesnt change much besides her new interest in outer look. She does change because she loves her boyfriend.

Those are some example of changes we do consciously or not. Changes can be bad or good. So, when you care about a person with good things in his/her mind, it will give you good reason to do good things. On the contrary, if your someone special is someone with filthy mind, all you do gonna turns into something bad.

Our human nature is to do sins, but deep down inside our heart God put moral and conscience there. It makes us feeling guilty doing something bad and knowing it is right when we do good things we don't like to do.

To be a better person we have to love a better person with better mind. Since no human is perfect, why still expecting to find one? No one will make you a better person in every single way just like we never inspire people to do well in every single way, things and habits, because we aren't perfect.

To be perfect, we have to love the Perfect One. We all heard this quotes often, "in everything you do, do it for God" but I will tell you, in every thing you shouldn't do, don't do it, for Him. 

Do you think that you love Him? When we really do love somebody, we will think about him/her in everything we do, we will try to make him/her happy by doing things he/she loves and stop doing things he/she hates. All we do is trying to be someone he/she wish can exist in his/her life. This rule works too in loving God. 

So, do you really love Him? Have you loved Him that much? You don't need to say the answer out loud. If you cant find the answer, ask Him.

"God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their qualities. He knew it already. It was I who didn't." - C.S. Lewis

Sent From Above

I am Christian, not because my religion, but due to my faith in Jesus Christ. Although most of my thoughts contain about God, I'm not a religious person in the eyes of society. I do not go to church every Sunday. I do not post verses in my tweets, or use godly words in my messenger status. I never use t-shirt contains quotes like 'Jesus Army' or 'Army of God', and many other things that can identify me as a Christian.

I was born and grown up in a Christian family, but in the end, it is not my family or ceremony habit that makes a Christian, but God put it in my heart so I choose consciously to be a Christian. His call is inevitable.
For me, being a Christian is about faith and heart. I don't need to post it in twitter, facebook and any other social media. Because I believe He knows I believe in and love Him even if I do not post it on my social media. What society thinks about me is not important, I don't even care if they think I am an atheist, because they are not The One who guarantees my life.

We all do stereotyping. Giving labels. In my society, the Christians usually do not get good labels. They post verses in twitter and facebook, talk about God here and there, always tell people about God, but still use rude words, do gossiping, cheat in test, envy people, and show off the religiosity they think they have.
I do not want to be that kind of person. I do not want to be a kind of No Action Talk Only person. What is the point of being a Christian without loving people? Dont you think it will be better if we let the actions talk? Just do good toward people and someday they will know the reason why we are doing these.
I do everything because of my love for Jesus, I don't want to disappoint Him.

Here I am trying to explain the simple things we use to forget in Christianity. Let me remind you that I am not an expert and never learn about theology. I am opened to any correction, just leave a comment or two and we can have some discussion about the topics I write.

I wish all the readers can understand what I mean despite my bad grammar, hehe. Thanks for reading :)

What Love Is

I've been wondering for days, maybe weeks... or years. What is marriage actually? I used to think, it is finding someone you ever imagine as a live person, then chose him/her as your partner. Yes, we like him/her because what we think he/she has. Maybe you think she loves reading, dancing and watching movies, yeah, maybe she is, but maybe she is not, maybe it is just your imagination. But, after all, you chose to love her, consciously or not.
If someone ask you "why you love him/her?" You will find yourself giving a list of what you like from her/him. Then... How about things you don't like from him/her? What if she don't like to cook, but you love a girl who can make dim sum for you? Usually, we tolerate it, or deceiving ourselves by thinking someday she will learn to make dim sum for us.
Just approve it, when you are gonna marry someone, your only hope is that she/he will not change the habit you like, but will change the habit you don't like. Like, you hope she will always love cooking, dancing and singing, but you wish she will stop forget washing dishes or singing Justin Bieber's songs. Doesn't it true?

There are so many couple out there wishing they are not marrying their partner now. Thinking, "why did I want to marry this crazy silly selfish bastard?" Because when you said 'I do', you just love the good side, and wish all the bad side will vanish someday.

Love is selfish. Now, I agree with it. I said I love him, but actually it just the feeling when he made me happy, but I hate him so much when he didn't meet my expectation. Did you? Or, do you?

When two people get married, they think they don't chose to love, love choses them. But, I found that love is a choice. Marriage is a decision to love someone forever even if he/she change into someone you think you never know, even if she/he change, even if her/his changes are bad or good. It is a decision not to give up on him/her without limit of time, and a promise to be with him/her with all her good and bad side, good and bad times. Marriage should be fulfilled with 'agape' and 'phileo' too, not only 'eros'.

So, to love is a choice, to marry is a decision. Then, logically if we read the previous paragraph, we will think that we can marry random person. Yes, actually we can.
But, some people are easier to be loved, they tend to be called 'loveable'. But to love some other people, we need extra works, extra heartache, extra toleration.
We, human race, have a natural instinct to pick the easier way. That's why we chose a person who is easy to be loved as our partner. Have you ever meet someone who is loved by so many guys or girls? Because they are loveable. You don't need to put so much effort to love her/him.

We all want to be loved, but too stubborn to acknowledge that we are not that loveable, and too arrogant to change our self. We think we hate our self, because we are not loveable, but the way we hate our self, is the way we love our self too. We hate our self for our arrogance, stubbornness, laziness, and everything else, because we know those are bad, and we want our self to change! But we are just too shame to admit that we have a bad personality and have to change. Then we will make excuses for our self to give an exception why we do that, so we don't need to change.
So, first of all, deal with yourself, don't be shame to acknowledge you bad attitudes, then deal with your pride, don't be arrogance and stubborn to change your bad attitudes. Stop making excuses to defend yourself.

Love needs requirements, and everyone has their own requirements to love someone. For an example; for me, it is easier to love someone who can understand my perception of life, has the same faith, strongly hold onto his principles, but realize when to change his bad attitudes. But for my sister it will be easier to love someone who can conquer her, loves japanese music and watching star wars too. See? Everyone has their own requirement, but some people have requirements that are easier to be fulfilled, and some other are just too hard to be fulfilled.
People with easier requirements are easier to love and to be loved. Meanwhile, people with harder requirements are harder to love and to be loved, usually society calls them 'picky'.

Don't forget about check-list system too! If we have 10 requirements, we will make 'minimum border'. Maybe 7 from 10 for me, but maybe 5 from 10 for her, maybe 9 from 10 for him. Everyone has their own minimum border.

Did you ever realize, that requirements and minimum border limit our choices to love someone? That's why we cant love or even like everyone. Because we need them to meet our expectation first so that we can love them. But, do all of them give a damn? The answer is no.

For some cases, people will decrease their requirements and minimum border. For my case, I know I don't need to decrease my requirements and minimum border, but I have to change to be more loveable. Stubborn is when your significance other give up on you but you still don't want to change to be more loveable, by changing your attitude or decreasing you minimum border.

So, marriage at the end, will be the love we found in our parents, love without requirements and limit or so called  'agape'.
Now, I conclude that marriage is a decision to love without requirements and limits.

Maybe, you guys look at your mom and think "how can dad want to marry someone like her?", or maybe you think your dad is sorry to marry her, or maybe your dad once told you not to marry someone like your mom. No, not because your dad doesn't love your mom anymore, but he knows how hard to love someone like her, a difficult person to be loved, and as a parent, he wishes you an easier life than him. That's why he told you to seek someone easier to be loved.

Don't misunderstand that love without requirements and limits don't even wanna change him/her. When you love someone, you constantly wish the best for him/her. It is right when you try to tell her/him to change his/her bad habit or attitude. It is due to your hope that she/he can be a better person. Telling someone his/her bad habit so that they can realize it then change it, is a way of loving.

But at the end, the only thing that constant in life is changes. She is gonna change someday, you too gonna change somehow. The only thing that kept your love constant for her/him is 'to love without requirement'.

I'm still learning it too. I learn to be more loveable, so first of all, me, my self, and I can love myself better. I learn to love without requirements, maybe not for boyfriend for now (you know, if we have choices, we have to chose the easier person to be loved *wink!* ), but to love mom, dad, my sisters, my big family, and my friends without requirements.

Start from today, this minute, this second. Maybe its too late to save a relationship, but never too late to learn this kind of love for a new one.

Sorry for my bad grammar and boring words. It is due to my lack of vocabulary. I promise myself to learn more ;)

Anyway, thanks for reading!