The Way We Love

There's a brief story I wanna tell you first.
Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Janette. She had a boyfriend named Calvin. One day, Janette's loveliest dog, Goldy died. She cried and then called her boyfriend. Soon, Calvin came to Janette's home. He told her to stop crying and promised to give her a new lovelier dog than Goldy. Janette became angry, she said "nothing can replace Goldy! All I want is Goldy!" She was disappointed with his words, and didn't understand why he could say such a thing. In the other hand, Calvin was disappointed too, he tried his best to make her happy, but she got angry instead. 
Last valentine, Calvin gave her chocolate and teddy bear. Somehow, Janette was disappointed because she expected red roses. She was on diet and Calvin knew it, why he gave her a chocolate? On the contrary, Calvin thought that roses never means anything to him. He never understands why girls love flower which can die in three days.
On Calvin birthday, Janette bought her a new pair of oxford shoes as a gift. When he opened it, he was disappointed. He was expecting for something about soccer. Or, new video games would be nice. 
Lately, these things happened more frequently. Calvin and Janette start to think that they dont understand each other. Finally, they decided to break up.

Do you think it is a sad familiar story, dont you? It happens to many couples. If someone ask about who's wrong here, girls and boys will blame each other. The truth is, no one is wrong, neither Janette nor Calvin is wrong. They just love each other in different way.

The people I love, they always make me wonder if they love me too. Where does this feeling come from? Actually I found that it is simply because we treat the people we love by the way we want to be treated. But, sadly everyone is thinking the same thing. We used to think that if somebody loves us, they will treat us in a way we express love too, and the fact is everyone have different ideas of expressing love. Just like Calvin and Jannete. Calvin said he gonna buy her a new lovelier dog, because if his dog die, he will love to have a new one, so he think if he does the same for Janette, Janette will know that he loves her. But, Janette think it woul be better if Calvin gives her a hug, comforts her, and listen carefully to her story that time, and after that she will stop crying. Their idea of expressing love are totally different, that's the problem. It is a common misunderstanding, happened to many couples simply because they dont understand that they have different ways of expressing love.

I think, we should love our beloved by the way they want to be loved, just to ensure they know that they are loved. The next question is, how will we know the way they will love to be treated? For our family, we can watch carefully how they treat the people they love then we can conclude how they express their love. But, how about that one former stranger that become so important in your life? That's the BIG problem, we always treat them as a mind-reader and so do they. We always wish for their understanding without saying a word. That's almost impossible, even our significance other will not always have the same idea with us.
I've been there too. I was too proud to tell my ex-significance other the way I love to be treated because I wished he will know it without me telling him. My only idea to solve this problem is to tell and to ask. Tell him/her the way you love to be treated, and ask them how him/her loved to be treated. If he/she doesn't want to tell you and tell you to figure out by yourself, it will be good as long as she/he gives you clues, but if she/he need you figure out of nowhere that will be a beginning for disaster. Well, at least, you have done you part; to tell and to ask.

Today I learn to treat people the way they want to be treated, the way they think love is expressed, just to ensure they know they are loved by me. Will you love to learn that, too? Because I hope that will bring a brighter smile in the faces of our beloved. Don't hesitate to ask them if you cant figure it out, we better ask than being mislead into miscommunication by our thoughts.

That's all I can share today. Sorry for my bad grammar and vocabularies. Everything is too mixed up in my head tonight, just hoping I didn't make any non-sense sentence here. Thanks for reading anyway!
Don't forget to hug our beloved, because look like hug is never a wrong way to express love :)