What Today's Women Expect

Recently I talked a little bit a lot with a boy. At first, I think he just wanted to be friends, but looked like he mistook my being-nice action as a good sign to start flirting.

It was quite boring and tiring to talk to him. But, I thank him for opening my eyes to see that in this modern emancipation life, still there is a conservative (I use conservative, because maybe closed minded is too rude) man who wants to marry a woman who will just cook for him and dust his furniture at home and maybe dance and sing and rub his back when he comes home.

It was much less like this. He said, he doesn't like an ambitious woman who loves to pursue career in her life and for example he mention our senior's name whom I totally adore. I said, that kind of woman is cool and I am definitely one of that kind. He said that our senior is definitely going to be an old single lady because she is too picky and ambitious. I said, she is definitely outrageous and cool because she is keep on pursuing her dreams and being single doesn't keep her for being fabulous. He said, she should be aware of her single status because she is in her midst twenty. I said, no she shouldn't because she is pretty, has a good attitude and style, dress well, comes from good family back ground, smart and has a great prospect of being a good pediatrician, the only thing she shouldn't do is lowering her standard (especially for a guy like you, even though I didn't say this). He said, he wants to be the only reason of his significant other's happiness. I said, I had learned that we better not draping our happiness on other people's shoulder. He said, in a relationship couple should depend on each other and he wants to have a significant other who will totally depend on him. I said, I learned that in a healthy relationship, couple should trust and help each other but not totally depend on each other, I learned that a healthy relationship is two happy persons commit to share their happiness and sorrow, not to make each other happy, if we could not make our self happy then we will not make any other people happy. He said, this is a tough conversation, and we will hard to finally have one conclusion. I said, no, we don't need any conclusion because we were just sharing opinion, we can still go on in life with our own opinion, there's no need to decide which opinion is better, because it were all relative and subjective.

I am quite surprised to realize that most of men and boys around me still adopt the concept of having a girl friend or wife who will totally adore and depend on them, and in extreme case just having a life because of their presence. For my sisters, I and maybe some women out there who have an intention to go for further education and want to have career life, we are not avoiding or disliking marriage, we're just expecting a men who will accept us as his equal partner in life. An equal partner is someone to talk to, to discuss matters, to share opinions, to help each other through life. An equal partner means we want men to think and act like our opinion is matter, worth listened, worth considered and worth for trial.

In fact, most of men still adopt last century concept of having a girl friend or wife. They think their wife just need to listen to their stories without any right to give opinions, we were only given right to agree and nod, cook them breakfast lunch and supper, raise the kid, and (sorry to say) serve them in bed. They think, their only obligation is supporting family's economy which (in their mind) woman cant do and know nothing about. Maybe you don't believe it, but some women still have this same concept in their mind. Thankfully, I am absolutely not one of them.

Women have the right to pursue their dreams, dreams can be working as a doctor, or maybe work as reporter for BBC or CNN, or maybe be a mother with four kids. Women have the right to be listened. Women have the right to be appreciated for what they have done. Raising kids is not only women's obligation in marriage, it is two party's obligation. Raising kids is not about giving them money, toys, gadgets, and stuffs or giving them the best education, it is about nurturing and loving them, accompanying them during life, and helping them to grow.

For every smart beautiful girls who lives around the world, be smart enough to chose your partner. Because we're worth it. Maybe you're single at the moment, just don't ever lower your standard, the right man will be able to appreciate your intelligence, beauty and skills.
Be smart people, be people smart. Happy weekend!